To Have or Not to Have a Hen Night

Every bride has to ask that question before the big day. For some, that question need not be asked and a hen night is seen as a must because it is tradition to have one. Whether it’s a high tea party or a wild night out with your girlfriends, it really does not matter how one celebrates it. Of course, that is so long as one does actually celebrate it.

On the flip side, there are also women that do not think it is important to celebrate their last moments of freedom. Maybe, that’s probably because a night of embarrassment, humiliation, anxiety, and dangerous debauchery does not really appeal to them. Nowadays, most hen dos and even stag dos are associated with such things.

The Sense of “Fun” Involved

For sure, different women will have a different idea of what fun is. It really is something subjective. Since bridesmaids are usually the bride’s closest friends or relatives, people just assume that they really know the bride. It is the maid of honor and bridesmaids’ responsibility to plan for that hen party.

Some of those hen party organizers would take the time to ask the hen what she wants. Of course, there are others who would rather leave all the activities planned as a surprise.

There is one thing that the bridesmaids should remember and that is to really know what the bride would appreciate. After all, the celebration should be all about what she actually wants.

What Women Want and Don’t Want

A woman that does not really want to have a hen night is not necessarily anti-social or anti-fun. At times, it becomes an issue of what a hen night nowadays entails. What’s more, some women do not like the idea of the reason behind celebrating such a night.

Saying that a hen night is a night to party and commemorate a woman’s last night of freedom does not sit well with a lot of women. It implies that once they get married, they are less free or chained to their husband forever.

Of course, with the divorce rate nowadays, most women know that is no longer completely true. Hollywood celebrities even demonstrate how easy it is to get married and then divorce not long after that.

Virtually all women are aware of that. However, fairy tales from those childhood days linger somewhere at the back of every woman’s mind. Notions of romance and that happily ever after with prince charming continue to be most women’s dream.

Party… Why Not?

That’s why, for most people, getting married is still a big deal. Others still stick to tradition and get married once they reach a certain age as if all women were meant to do so. Usually, for those that value tradition and custom, certain rites of passage like a hen or stag party is still celebrated.

For those women that do not want to think of marriage as a trap should just view their hen night as a means to celebrate one’s upcoming marriage with their closest girlfriends. After all, it is also about relieving the stress involved in weddings and spending quality time with your maid of honor and bridesmaids.

A British Hen Do vs. a Bachelorette Party

Some people are under the impression that a hen do tends to be tamer than its American counterpart, the bachelorette party. Somehow, bachelorette parties have been associated with exotic dancers dressed as police officers that eventually gyrate and strip in front of the group. Though it certainly is true for hens that do not really drink, there are still hens that will go for the exotic dancer.

A columnist for the New York Times described a typical bachelorette party as a “cringe-inducing mix of flash and trash.” The author might not be aware of the fact that there are hen dos that are just as bad.

Typical Bachelorette Party

The usual bachelorette party involves a male stripper, lots of booze, and who knows what else women do when they’re too drunk to think. In short, most American bachelorette parties are known for being quite wild. Over the years, they have become much like bachelor or stag parties.

There are more than enough movies that feature such parties. Most of those movies have served as the inspiration of most bridesmaids that arrange for the party itself. That is why most people do not think it odd when a woman celebrating her last moments of freedom goes wild. The men at the club or bar even know what they should do. Typically, they’d drown the bride-to-be with drinks and even dance with her.

Typical Hen Party

In reality, a typical hen party will be a lot like a typical bachelorette party. The American version has been associated with going wild, but a hen party can be just as wild. There really is no difference. The only difference would depend on the bride-to-be’s taste.

A London hen do can seem similar to a coming of age party or a bat mitzvah party. Society still has that pre-conceived notion of what a woman should be and exotic dancers are just simply unladylike. Still, what should matter would be what the hen wants. Whatever the hen wants, the hen should get.

It does not really matter if what she wants is an exotic dancer or a high tea party experience. What should matter is that she enjoys her last moments of freedom. After all, ideally, a woman will only get married once.

Hen Party Activities

There are actually so many popular hen party activities to choose from. Instead of getting an exotic dancer, there are hens that would prefer to enjoy learning sexy dances in a private room. This can involve burlesque, dirty dancing, or even pole dancing. Artsy hens might even prefer a nude painting lesson instead of just getting an exotic dancer.

Those are just examples of some of the more popular hen party activities. Of course, hens that love sports and the outdoors should indulge in those particular activities.

Bottom line is that the hen party activities involved should always be something that the hen likes or appreciates. If she does not enjoy her last moments of freedom, the bridesmaids actually fail in planning the hen do.

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